Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Thanksgiving Weekend...Hmm Thanksgiving was coo. Didn't play taboo..WACK..but I did have some interesting conversation with about 5 of my female cousins, you know we ended up talking about BOYS/MEN, and all the riffraff in between. Lol...

We talked about how difficult it is to find, maintain, and keep a relationship with a guy who is serious and ready to be a man. One of the things we discussed and was irritated with was the guy to girl ratio. We came to the conclusion that:

There are so many more women than men that these guys coming up nowadays don’t know how to treat a woman because they have it TOO EASY. There are so many desperate girls who do any and everything to get a guy; resulting in boys/men becoming SELFISH, SELF-ABSORBED, FICKLE CREATURES. They no longer feel the need to try and win over a girl or to show interest rather than just saying “I think you’re real coo,” or “I like hanging out with you,” and this nonsense, “We should hangout more.”

NO!! These are all EMPTY statements. This tells a girl NOTHING about your intentions. Now remember I’m not talking about casual dating because the purpose of dating someone and growing strong feelings for, is to see if they are a possible life mate (someone you see yourself having a substantial future with, i.e. –MARRIAGE!!)

I think I’m getting to the point where I’m just WHATEVER about guys and relationships right now. It’s too draining; especially when you’re in an “uneven” situation (you put more effort and enthusiasm into the relationship than the other person). That’s where I’m at now with my EX and its getting old. I love him to death and I really don’t see myself with anyone else but he has a lot to work on within himself that I don’t think he realizes.

I feel like he’s emotionally unavailable. There’s only so much he’s willing to give (emotionally) and show me and I feel like its just sabotaging our relationship. Right now we are in the process of figuring out if we can create the same feelings we have when we are face to face, over the distance so we can stop all the awkward tension and arguments when we aren’t together and just be happy. As I’ve said before, when we are together, everything is pretty close to perfect, but when we are away its like he becomes a different person (I’m sure he feels the same about me). I don’t get it.

To me the problem is that he’s always gotten what he wants, he has never had to ask for attention or be shown love, or not have someone love you back as much as you love them. He has it easy because, he is very nice looking. Girls flock to him so it’s no big deal to him. And that’s how I feel sometimes, LIKE I’M NO BIG DEAL…that’s ALIEN TERRITORY to me. I don’t feel important enough. I don’t feel like he is really into me or that he sees a future with me. I know he says it, but I need him to show it. I need to physically see that he wants me. I have to know for sure that he’s all about me and that he’ll do whatever it takes to make me happy and satisfied. These are all things I do and constantly try to make him understand.

Matters of the heart are so difficult. I hate it. I just wish things would go the way I see them in movies, or the way I dream them up in my head. You know, the happily ever-after, the romantic and passionate relationships. That’s what I want. I want to feel butterflies again. I want to smile when he calls, or when I see his name pop up on my phone. I just want to be happy with him again. I wish we could just start over and do it right. I miss him and the way we use to be (fun, open, honest, sincere). I just pray
God’s plan matches mine…

So I did a bit of Google searching and found this!!

Approximately 50.34% are men & 49.66% are women.

As of July 2007, the United States Central Intelligence Agency estimated the world's population to be 6,602,224,175 with there being 3,278,616,036 (49.66%) females & 3,323,608,139 (50.34%) males.


This is crazy…Here’s my theory: there are more men but the number of QUALITY MEN is VERY LOW. This makes it difficult for quality women because there are a large number of women going after or seeking out the few quality men, making the ratio seem much more skewed. What do you think?


Landre said...

There's definitely quality men like myself, were out there. Would you say women have lowered there standards in general though?

Sei'Lani Britagne said...

i dont think the fact that there are more men than women in the world really shows the women to men ratio because you have to nowadays take into consideration transgendered folk, gay and lesbian folk, psychotic, crazy folk, inmates and alladat. When you take all that in, it does seem that there are less men haha.
i think there are few quality men and few quality women and when they both find each other, one or both don't know how to act cuz it seems too good to be true.
I honestly do believe that women do lower their standards more so than me because women tend to sacrifice and comprimise way more than men do... cuz they have that whole "im a man" thing that is getting so old nowadays. if they are "a man" i think they should act like it and stop puffing out their chests and do the right thing for someone other than themselves. (not saying all men are like that, but in that situation yea)

Ms_Cr0ss said...

Of course there are women out there that have lowered their standards because they feel like there aren't any men out there that would match up to them.

I myself have at times lowered my standards for the sake of finding love; however, I later found out that I shouldn't have to settle and that I deserve a man that is willing to treat me the way my dad would and better. I'd rather be alone than be with a man who doesn't know how to love and care for me.

The problem I have with guys nowadays is that they don't recognize a great woman when they see her or even have her for that matter. Its like guys are always looking for the next best thing. Guys are just lazy when it comes to relationships, if its not easy, they don't want to deal.

Ms_Cr0ss said...


"I honestly do believe that women do lower their standards more so than me because women tend to sacrifice and comprimise way more than men do... cuz they have that whole "im a man" thing that is getting so old nowadays. if they are "a man" i think they should act like it and stop puffing out their chests and do the right thing for someone other than themselves."

PREACH!! Lol...soooo true!

VerbFashion said...

the ex situation is always a toughy. i myself have never had to deal with a long distance situation (or at least one i took seriously) but be sure to state CLEARLY ( i mean crystal) what you need from him. guys tell us exactly what they want often in non-chalant male egotistical ways, but nontheless -we're told. i've learned this from male friends.

the "whatever" attitude towards men and relationships will have you blindsighted for a while. it's natural but don't get stuck there.

**new follower -love the realness of your blog ;)

Dashanae said...

Yessss it is Draing its likee..nobody knws you like he does,why get to knw somebody else when wht yu want is right there or you dnt wanna let it go when you wrked on it for so long.
its so hard to see Eye to Eye especailly when yu dnt want to put the blame on eachother becuz its jus not wrkin Out. fallin in love is easy but stayin in love is trickie.

when im tryna someone how i feel to make him understand its like he is listen and he gets it..but couple days later its like we didnt even have the conversation ... like well WTH do he even care. and in your heart yu knw he does.
but its not showingg.

Long distance is even Harderr
all yu can do is Trust. but if both you Guys act differnt when your apart and differnt when your Together. its all SO bitterSweet.
when its good its Good.
when its bad its bad.

GooodLuck Hunn.

and I wanted Brain J. white to bee withh a Michelle Obama type too
when i saw him holding her hand
he losee BROTHAA points. lmaoo

Tricia said...

I think i have in the past lowered my standards so i can fit in so that maybe he wont leave but ive realised there are men out there who will accept you as you are..
Problem with men, some dont realise what they got, they rather have take away than goin home to have the real meal..
About the Ex..all the best. Like you said just pray to God hoping His plan matches yours.

aimes said...

[i know i'm RIDICULOUSLY late on this post...]

Your relationship is somewhat like mine. The Ex-Factor as Lauryn would say. It seems like everything is fine, almost perfect when we are together... BUT then when we are apart...the arguments begin. It's weird because I often times wonder if we are to be, I don't see myself with anyone else. At the same time, I know what it is that I want out of a relationship, and if he fails at providing that then I think we must go our separate ways. I always say every disappointment is a blessing. Just praying that God allows me to the patience to see what it is He has planned for me.