Monday, November 9, 2009


Hello loves...So lately I've been dealing with trusting people and really questioning the character of the people I have come in contact with over the past few years; from relationships, friendships, and even casual acquaintances, I have found that INTEGRITY is a characteristic many people are lacking these days.

Quick refreshing of what Integrity means:

  1. Moral soundness; honesty; freedom from corrupting influence or motive; -- used especially with reference to the fulfillment of contracts, the discharge of agencies, trusts, and the like; uprightness; rectitude.
  2. Unimpaired, unadulterated, or genuine state; entire correspondence with an original condition; purity.
Ok, so now that we all have an idea as to what integrity entails, lets talk about it.

The problem that I have with people nowadays is that being genuine and honest is a thing of the past. J.C. Watts talks about integrity in relation to character in this way:
Character [integrity] is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught.
Lately I've come in contact with way too many people who think that they can "get by;" so my mission for the past 6 months or so has been to prune out all he people who lack the vital integrity virtue. So far I have pruned out 4 people within the past 2 years. They're names will go unmentioned for now but best believe they know who they are..Lol.

I usually keep people at a distance because I don't trust them. I know that's sad but I'm a very giving and emotional person (though I put on this "I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR" attitude). I can't help but to care for people, its just who I am, but I've learned through experience that not everyone wants the best for me or wishes me well. There are some people who only wish to get close to me for what they can get from me or what they can gain from being associated with me..I'm SO done with people like that.

When it comes to romantic relationships, I have come to the conclusion that if I can find a man with integrity, all my trust issues would be NON-EXISTANT!! The only problem is that, one can't find out if his/her mate has integrity until it has been compromised. Integrity is between God and that person. A person can claim till they are blue in the face that they have integrity but there is no real way for the other party to measure it. If we really want to get deep, true integrity can only be reached through a relationship with Christ because your actions are not longer predicated upon others but you strive to be righteous because you wish to be like Christ and to follow his example.

I think Shakespeare would agree because he understood that one must, "To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Honesty and integrity are close cousins and you can't have one without the other. I wonder why it is so hard for some people to be real? What is so difficult with being someone who keeps their word? Or like the picture above, allows their behaviors and values coincide in a way that exudes integrity in every aspect of their life? Now I'm not claiming to have this whole integrity thing down because everyday I have to check myself and my character to make sure I am practicing what I'm preaching.

I guess as I get older, I begin to really think what is it that I really want out of life and the people I allow in mine. Looks are great and whatnot, but I'd take a less attractive man with all the integrity in the world over a gorgeous man who I can only trust as far as I can throw him...Having friends and people to hangout with is great but I'd rather be alone than be friends with a bunch of fake and shady people.

I like what Thomas Macaulay says on the subject: "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out." If your true character was exposed, would there be some things that you'd be ashamed of or have to apologize for, maybe explain to someone you may lose if they found out? In what ways could your level of integrity benefit from an "energy boost"?? Think about it...

As I've said before, I'm looking to become the best Tiffanie I can be...these subjects aren't easy but I have to deal with them and really dig into myself to purge myself of all the things I hate to see in others. They say you attract what you are so hopefully if I get right, I'll find the same...I love you for reading. Let me know how you feel, give me your two cents Lol...till next time. ;-)


Jay Dreamer said...

"Looks are great and whatnot, but I'd take a less attractive man with all the integrity in the world over a gorgeous man who I can only trust as far as I can throw him..." ---> Can I get an AMEN?! lol XD Tiff, I couldn't agree more with you on this one even if I was allowed to :]
Very thoughtful post. I hope you succeed in being the best you can be. Personally, it seems like you're already there :]
Ooh, and thanks for the nice comment on my little poem. I LOVE-LOVED IT! Seriously made my day XD Thanks again,


Sei'Lani Britagne said...

had to shout you out in my post :) thanks for the comments and this posts. u n i think so much alike its crazy.