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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dear God: It's OVER!!

Well...to make a long story short. I'M SINGLE!! Yep, its over, and I'm done. There comes a time where you just have to let God move and do what he wants. I tried to hold on to a relationship that wasn't good for me spiritually or emotionally. No matter how much I loved him, it didn't matter because he could never understand it or know how/was willing to reciprocate it. To me, he doesn't really know what true love is... Understanding that unconditional love is learned through a true relationship with God. Because when you love someone you don't give up on them...

My heart still misses him, but my brain is tired, extremely hurt and moving on. Though a part of me feels like I just wasted 2 1/2 years of my life, it was a learning experience for me too. I had to learn that no matter how good a person may look on the outside, if their insides are filled with self-righteousness, arrogance, and pride, its going to be difficult to make any progress, emotionally, with them because you will always be analyzed and blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. In short...(because I refuse to let this take up much more of my life and emotions)...I'm Done.


So this is my letter to God:

     Dear Alpha & Omega,
              
               Over the past 7 years, I've had 3 major heartbreaks. But this last one really did a number on me. He is ever present in my thoughts and often times the first thing on my mind. (Sorry)...I'm guessing this is why you've chose to take him away. I understand you are a jealous God and want to be first at all times. I failed to realize that then but am fully aware now. As I rededicate my life to you, there are just a few requests I'd like to make regarding the next man you send my way:

1. Let him be sold-out for you and have a true love and relationship with you
2. Make him understanding
3. Let him be taller than me... (in heels too) lol
4. Allow him to love his family unconditionally
5. Give him patience and empathy for others
6. Let him be a praying man
7. You know I love personality and charm so give him some of that too
8. If he truly loves you, I know he'll be faithful to me
9. Give him a strong work ethic and ambition
10. Allow him to lead me and for me to follow
11. Let him like PDA! lol
12. Give him passion and romance
13. If its not too much to ask, can he be fairly easy on the eyes? Can he be sexy? That's ok right?
14. Looks aren't everything but I do like a fit and in-shape man
15. Give him the ability to have great, intellectual conversation
16. Money isn't everything but can you make sure he is a good steward with what you bless him with
17. Let his partying and game playing days be non-existent
18. The past is the past but I'd rather not have a man that's ran through lots of females
19. I love kids so he has to too
20. I can't really think of much else but above all else: MAKE HIM MORE LIKE YOU!!!

This is my prayer and open letter to you, please mend the broken pieces of my heart back together again and make it like new. I no longer want to love him so please take this feeling away too. Take away the dreams, and take away the emptiness he created. I know it's going to take time but you control it so please push time rapidly forward. I don't want to feel this pain; I simply don't have time for it. Gone through this too many times and I'm personally beyond through with it. I can't take anymore heartache my emotions are stressed and tired. So give me your peace and healing power, because I need it more than ever at this hour. I'll thank you in advance and leave all of this baggage here. I know you'll come through; I've got my complete faith and trust in you.

Yours Forever,
         Tiffanie AnnMarie Cross

9 comments:

Dee Lilly said...

awww
:) :)
i know i dont know you but im proud of you!
youre so wisee
and with patience i know you'll find your significant other thats truly meant to be. :)
Go'n girl!!

IgboBaby said...

It may be hard now, but time will make it easier... :)

Shandra E...*the misses said...

"Prayer love letters"...that's what i call my communications with God (beside prayer)...& that's exactly what you just gave HIM! I love it...so honest and REAL...isn't it awesome to have a REAL and unique relationship with a REAL and LOVING God?!! I find it mind-blowing to realize that He actually HEARS and CARES to Know about our lives, our loves, our passions, our hearts, our hurts, our EVERYTHING!!

Tricia said...

How interesting it is that i'm going through the same thing..it happened last week, it was three years.
It hurts still. I made the same prayer to God and i know He has heard you, He will give you the person you need in your life..
xoxo

Anonymous said...

Good dispatch and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you on your information.

NC17 said...

2 and half years means that it'll be another year of him trying to win you back. stay strong sister.

MJ said...

I like that...Its deep and really makes you think.

Londya said...

Just went through this, though we weren't in a relationship quite as long as yours, it still hurt. I definitely needed to read this, it helps to see that someone is getting through and got through the same thing I'm currently going through.

kenoras said...

I'M PROUD OF YOU SIS, LET GOD BE #1