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Friday, October 30, 2009

Boredom + Omarion "Get's It In"...

Well ladies and Gent ;-) Lol...I'm sitting at home, another boring a** night in Temecula, CA. I wish my bestest (yeah I said bestest!) buddy, "Chicken" Kristine Thompson lived closer to me. We always find the most random things to do and have crazy fun. Since I'm home, I figured I'd let yall in on my boredom. Right now, I'm just listening to music and downloading some random stuff.


While surfing new music. I came across Omarion's new single and new look: NO BRAIDS!! I'm so proud. He finally decided to get that grown man look and cut the nonsense off. HOWEVER, I am not that impressed with the new video. Take a look at the clip of his new single: "I Get It In"...



Yeeaaahhh....the Cali-hood look isn't really working for me. The song is ok, there are two versions of it; one with Lil Wayne and one with Gucci Mane. The beat is what I like most about the song. Yall I"M SOO BORED!! Lol...this is really sad. I need more than one friend!! hahaha...Anyway, let me know what yall think about the song and Omarion's new look. I need some more insight on this...

Wasted Time...

Hey hey hey!! Back in action...well the past couple days have been wildly interesting for me. I had a very sobering moment the other night that really caught me off guard and made me feel VERY STRANGE! It was a sickening moment to say the least...I won't go into detail now because that's not what I feel like talking about right now and it just doesn't do any good in helping that feeling go away...SO...ANYWAY! Lol...


I am a big fan of the Fox show, "So You Think You Can Dance." Right now my favorite is Russell Ferguson, he's the first Krumper to make it on the show and I think he is going to grow a lot during the season so look out for him and vote for him too! Though I love his talent, I must say, the ones who stole the night for me were Bianca Revels and Victor Smalley. They did a contemporary piece by Travis Wall and it was AMAZING. I wish I had a clip to share with you all but you know how Fox is!! Lol...It'll be up on there website next week and when they do I'll be sure to post it.



The dance was to Me'shell NdegeOcello's, "Wasted Time." You may not know or recognize her by name, but for all you "Love & Basketball" movie buffs, she was the one who sang the song "You Made a Fool of Me" while they were playing one on one at the end of the movie!! Remember now? Well, if you do great, if not, look it up and catch up with the rest of the class!! Lol...Anyway, the song is great. I'll post it so you can hear it.


But back to the dance! The premise was: A guy who completely abuses the love of a woman desperately trying to prove her feelings for him. He ignores her, treats her like crap, and dangles her around until he finally breaks it off at the end of the dance. All the while, she is fighting and holding on to him hoping he'll pay her just a little bit of attention. It's a very touching piece and it almost made me cry! Lol... I really enjoyed it because it speaks to a few experiences in my life and I'm sure the lives of some of you as well.


Getting the one you love to understand just how much you care for them and how much you'd love for them to give the love you show back can be a difficult process if the person you love isn't ready for it or does not know how to give it. Unrequited love is so tough. It creates all kinds of insecurities in a person and sometimes makes them question their worth. Thankfully I know my worth and what I deserve in a relationship!! Lol...but some people go throughout life never finding someone to love them, or even finding that one person that loves just as hard and as genuine as they do. It can be disheartening when you give your all to someone, only to receive rejection, hurt, and suffering.


LOVING is one of the EASIEST things to fall into but one of the HARDEST things to maintain. When I think about it, if people would just treat others the way they wish to be treated (you know, the GOLDEN RULE) or even (ONE OF GOD'S COMMANDMENTS) loving and treating people right wouldn't be an issue. Love and Integrity go hand-and-hand. For those of you who don't know, one definition of integrity is: doing the RIGHT thing even when NO ONE is looking. That's a trait that's hard to find nowadays and it's just sad. When you love someone you always think of their feelings as if they were your own. I'm not here to preach...but someone hand me the MIC!! LoL..jk. But in all seriousness, caring for and loving someone is more than lip service (no pun intended!!); but when you truly care for someone, their feelings and concerns are a priority to you. Simple as that...


Now there may be some of you who do not agree with me or that have a different opinion, please comment and let me know what you think; or even if you agree with me, I'd like to know your thoughts on the matter...so follow me and drop a comment or two. Now, I'm going to attach the song here and paste the lyrics as well. Enjoy and GOODNIGHT!!!



"Wasted Time" By: Me'shell NdegeOcello


You rarely notice but I hang on your every word


Everything you say
You are much too busy to notice me
You turn and walk away


Into another's arms hopeless ashamed
I wish I could hold you that way
Brokenhearted I dream for you to notice me


Wasted time on loving you wasted time
Wasted time on someone
Who won't love you as much as I
As much as I as much as I as much as I


In my fantasy you are asleep beside me
I feel you breathe
If only I could be there for you
The one that you make love to


Wasted time on loving you wasted time
Wasted time on someone
Who won't love you as much as I
As much as I as much as I as much as I


You rarely notice but I hang on your every word
Everything you say
You are much too busy to notice me
You turn and walk away


Into another's arms hopeless ashamed
I wish I could hold you that way
Brokenhearted I dream for you to notice me

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

THIS IS IT...


Hey hey hey!!! So as you can tell today was a much better day for me. It's finally starting to look like fall/winter and I love it. Now, I just got back from seeing the Michael Jackson Tribute film: "This is It." My friend Montoya bought tickets and made me go with her. (She's a die hard fan of MJ). I must say, I did not want to go, not because I don't like MJ but I just wasn't really in the mood to see and hear a bunch of fans crying and having mental breakdowns in the movie theatre.



I respect MJ for his musical genius and how he has impacted the music industry and artistry as a whole. He truly was ahead of his time and should be remembered forever. I don't claim to be a super hardcore fan but I do know that he was a very talented man, no matter how many "personal issues" he may have had.


When the movie started, there were a few words scrolling up the screen talking about the video and its purpose. IMMEDIATELY people started crying!!! I was done. I turned to my friend and was like REALLY?? The first few seconds and it’s already a balling fest?? Lol...she laughed and I began to pray. I was hoping it wasn't going to be a video full of sad, sappy moments of MJ, and thankfully it wasn't.


The video was truly a documentary/behind the scenes look into the creation of what would be his last concert/performance. I was shocked to see a girl I sang with "Judith Hill" as one of the background singers. I was lightweight jealous but extremely proud to see her living out her dream. The concert would have been awesome. The dancers and the band was STUPID SICK!! They had this guitar player that was a white chick and she KILLED!! The video also showed the humble spirit of MJ, as well as his perfectionist side. He is truly a professional and takes every bit of his music seriously; making sure its the best rendition every time!


They showed the more human side of MJ, his quirky mannerisms and overall sweet and funny spirit. Though I did not want to go at first, I am happy that my friend made me go because it just reminded me how much talent he truly had and what an influence he still has on people today. Nowadays artists are lucky to have an impact past their first single! MJ has done so for decades and is still number one in his absence. Overall I enjoyed it and would recommend others to see it because it isn't a sappy film. It's a celebration of what he was creating and nothing more. All the drama was left out of it and you get to see MJ as he was: a pure ARTIST!!

That's all folks and in the words of MJ, "You gotta' let it SIMMER!!" LoL...I love you for reading and until next time...Goodnight!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

One of Those Days.... *SIGH*

Hola!....Soooo, today has pretty much been a blur. Nothing I did today gave me any sense of purpose. I am a bartender/server at Applebee's for now and that ish is getting mighty old!! I'm in the process of looking for anther job/career but this economy is like a knife in my side and everyday it gets turned. I know I should be happy that I have some sort of income but nowadays I feel like it's not even worth it.


I can't get ahead trading my dollars for hours...its just not possible right now. Its times like these where I can see or somewhat understand why people turn to other "illegal" alternatives to increase their cash flow. Thankfully I have loving parents who allow me to live rent free, but umm I'm a 22 year old college grad (from a private school mind you!!) and I have YET to snag a REAL job. It can be so difficult trying to stay positive in times like these.


Now I know some of you may think, "Gosh, stop complaining, you have it better than most people right now" which may be true; however, it does not negate the fact that everyone wants to feel accomplished, everyone wants to have something they can call their own (poor or not). It is just something that each of us has that wants to be independent and self sufficient. AND I'M NO EXCEPTION...


Its times like these where I wish I had that special someone to just hold me and love on me, telling me that everything will be ok. Encouraging me to keep going and fighting. Giving me advice on how to deal. Offering some sort of compassion and warmth in my cold world. A kiss and a hug to make these moments fade away or just a little bit easier to bear. For now I just pray and hope God sends some open doors my way...hopefully he'll do the same for you. I'm off to sleep...kind of early I know but sleep is the only place I can have what I want.


Thanks for reading...now I've noticed that my visits are jumping in number but the followers are slacking...so don't be afraid to follow me and tell me what you think or offer some advice, suggestions, questions, etc. I'm here...Hasta Luego!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Response to Khid iLLmatic...

Hello all…I know I’ve been slacking for the past day or two but I’m back and have something interesting to share. While checking one of the few blogs I follow, I stopped at “Khid iLLmatic’s” blog and his latest entry really struck me. It’s a response and reflection on the video by Gnarls Barkley, “Who’s Gonna’ Save My Soul.” I had never seen this video before and it was definitely thought provoking to say the least.

I’d suggest you watch the video and then continue reading my response to Khid and the video in general now…




Crazy right?? I loved it though because it's so real. Now, in response to Khid, there are some "girls" (and I call them girls because they act as such) who do not know how to love or be loved and this goes for "boys" as well. Some people are incapable of recognizing real love or a genuine soul, even when he or she is staring them in the face, arms open wide, ready to give and love them in a way that’s divinely taught.

This video would have the same impact if the roles where reversed simply because both sexes experience this type of debilitating heart ache at some point in their life. Matters of the heart are always the toughest to deal with; however, they are also the ones that shape our characters and define how we will allow others to treat us. The important thing is to not shut off and be cold-hearted because the day you do that, you could be missing out on that "Woman" or "Man" that God has created and designed just to love you.

I can speak first hand about being a bitter female. Mad at the world and all the stupid little boys in it. I was hurt, rejected, cheated on, and mistreated in relationship after relationship. I took trust issues into every new relationship, sabotaging them before they ever had a real chance. I had to learn that building up walls and booby-traps was childish. It was my way of, not only “protecting myself,” but it was my way of running from the truth and being afraid to face and question what it is I may have been doing to cause some of these emotional wounds. I had to ask myself if I was na├»ve. I had to check some insecurities that I never dealt with. I had to look at myself and love me first (in and out) before I expected and demanded someone else to.

Now don't get me wrong, it’s important to protect yourself from people with ill intentions or those who do not have your best in mind. But to enter every interaction and future relationship with “passive aggressive contentiousness” is insane and self-destructive. What would be the purpose of getting into a relationship in the first place if you feel that destruction and heartbreak is inevitable? Love makes life worth living. It’s what got Jesus here on earth. “For God so LOVED the world that he gave his ONLY begotten son…” John 3:16 (look it up). Without love, this world can and at times is a cold and lonely place.

What I’ve learned is that, in those times of solitude, one is able to find him/herself and become emotionally stable so that when the time comes, he/she is ready to love with arms wide open. To love as God does, with no limits. To give of yourself and your heart because you never know when you’ll find that one person who makes you forget about all the others, the one who makes loving easy, the one who puts a smile on your face just thinking about them or the next time you’ll see him/her.

I urge all of my fellow “heartless, heartbroken, or even cold-hearted” people to let it go. Stop holding on to the resentment of a past hurt or love, let go of all the negativity and free yourself from the debilitating power of bitterness. Don’t be afraid to love again because it’s the journey one takes in finding love that makes it all worthwhile….how else are you to know what real love is unless you’ve experienced some bootleg ones??

As always, I want to hear from those of you reading and/or following so drop a line and tell me what you thought about the video. Have a great night….and in the words of Mr. Don Cornelius: “LOVE, PEACE, and SOUUULLLLL” LoL…



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Lesson...

Another day has past and I can't say that I feel any better than I did last night. Though I am thankful for another day, it hasn't gone the way I wish it had. I went to an all women’s bible study today and the lesson posed the question: "Are you allowing the hand that FEEDS you, to also be the hand that LEADS you?" Basically asking, after God gives you all the various things we all pray and ask him for and he gives them to us, are we willing to let him be Lord of our lives, or is it contingent upon whether he provides and gives us what we want. We focused on John chapter 6. This is the chapter of miracles, where God feeds 5,000 people with 2 fish and 5 loafs of bread, and where he walks on water.

The question made me think about my level of faith, as it was suppose to for everyone else as well. I like to think that I have a strong foundation in believing God for things I can't see or that aren't tangible. But the reality is, I question some of the things he allows me to go through and experience. I wonder sometimes if I'm on the right path or if God even hears me when I ask him for direction in certain situations.

For example, I have been out of college for a year now, I'm still living in my parents house, I don't have a steady career yet, and there are so many different directions I would like to go and passions that I'd like to pursue that I'm stagnant in a life that is very unfulfilling. Now I'm suppose to believe that I'm going through this stage in my life for a purpose and that I am suppose to learn something during this time of uncertainty. BUT WHAT THAT LESSON IS I HAVE NO IDEA!! And frankly, I'm really tired of it.

I want so much out of life and I want to leave this world having some sort of impact. (Don't we all??) By the way...I'm listening to India Arie's "Good Mourning" it's a great song and totally expresses my mood right now...but ANYWAY...this process of letting God have his way in my life is tough. Every time I think I have it down, he throws something my way that causes me to start back at 1. I know that I need to just trust that God knows exactly what he's doing in my life and that he has a master plan for my life but I just want to see some more steps, a little clearer path, something to make me see that there is "light at the end of the tunnel."

I want to finish this entry but I'm just not feeling it right now at all....sorry. The more I write the more irritated and frustrated I get so I'm just going to call it a night...I have rehearsal tomorrow (I sing) and singing always makes things better, at least for a little while. Its my escape from reality so hopefully that'll help me carry out the rest of this week that hasn't gone so well for me. As always, I love you for reading. Follow me and if you want, drop me a line, tell me what's on your mind. That's all for now....Goodnight world.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

FRUSTRATED!!!!

Welcome back...I'd do all the happy stuff but right now I'm SO frustrated and I have no one to vent to because my only two friends won't answer their phones so here we are...You're the lucky ones I get to vent to!

So as I've already told you. I'm in a complicated "relationship" right now. His name will go unmentioned but we'll call him "Care Bear." We have been talking to one another for about 2 years now and over that time period we have split and "reconnected" about 3 times now. (P.S.- I've got Paramore's "Decode" on repeat right now)...

Care Bear lives in Phoenix, AZ and I'm in Temecula, CA...Enough said!! That's about 400 miles between the two of us and it sucks. Because of the distance, we have a very volatile "relationship." The littlest things cause ridiculous arguments, silent treatments, passive aggressive conversation, and at times yelling spats...

Now you might ask why I decide to stay. What keeps me wanting to be in a situation that seems too difficult and stressful to be in? Well...Care Bear and I have almost the perfect relationship when we are together. We make each other laugh, finish each other's sentences, and get each other's goofy jokes and behavior, not to mention we look AMAZING together! LoL... but seriously, when we are together I don't have a doubt or worry in my mind. When we are together, he makes me happy. He's attentive, sweet, funny, possessive (in a good way), we can worship God together (WHICH IS GREAT) and we just have the best times together, even when we aren't doing anything at all but watching TV, or "playing" (rough-housing).

But we are lucky if we see one another once a month. This causes so many problems. We are both strong-willed and opinionated people, with even stronger personalities. I'm extremely emotional and Care Bear, not so much. Like I told you before, I'm the hopeless romantic type. Meaning I melt over sappy surprises like letters in the mail, random-thoughtful-sweet text messages, nicknames, PDA...etc. (You know, all the stuff that makes girls google-eyed, I like to know that a guy wants me and only me and for EVERYONE else to know it as well.

I have major trust issues, that I have learned to curb during this "relationship," but this time around feels different. I don't know if its because I have my guard up because I don't want to "fall" blindly again, only to be left in love alone again, or if its because now that I have laid all my cards out (my feelings for Care Bear) that he feels like whatever happens I’ll always be waiting with open arms. It sucks when you love someone so much but nothing you do seems right or makes the other person feel just how much you care. I do love Care Bear but I don't know if that's enough...

 Sometimes I wonder if he's even capable of loving me they way I feel I need love. I'm an emotionally, needy person. What I mean by that is, I LOVE HARD and in return I expect to receive that same passion. When I love someone, I give my all to them. I do whatever I can to make them happy and I am completely faithful. I know when I truly care or love someone because I don't have the desire to even want attention from or talk to other guys, and that's how I feel with Care Bear. My feelings for him are more real to me than anything right now. If I had my way, I'd make it so Care Bear and I lived a lot closer to one another because there would be no issues.

 We had a misunderstanding (as usual) tonight and didn't get off the phone in a good way. This behavior is all too familiar and I don't want it to become a habit when we aren't able to see and talk to one another face-to-face. I just don't get how when we are together everything seems so right, but the moment we aren't with one another everything becomes so tense, and erratic. For those of you that have been in a situation similar to this PLEASE offer your advice! I'm at the point where I don't know what to do anymore because everything I try doesn't have lasting results.

 I have never met anyone like Care Bear. Sometimes I swear he is the male version of me, in that we are so much alike but at the same time we are SO different!! It's just crazy to me...I HATE THE DISTANCE!!! The air and space that causes so much frustration and confusion… If I think too much about it, I'll start to cry. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the type of person that's meant to be alone. Is it really possible to find someone to love me for me?

To be honest, I simply don't want anyone else but if I'm forced to just give up it'll be a great loss for me emotionally because he's my best friend. It'd be more than just losing a "boyfriend," or someone I kiss and hug on, but someone that I connect with SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, and PHYSICALLY! (And that's hard to find) I feel hopeless sometimes, but then I have to tell myself that if it's meant to be then it'll be...its all in God's hands anyway right?

I just pray that things work out, but nights like these don't help. I'm always open to comments and opinions so don't be afraid to follow my blog and shoot me your thoughts. They'll be much appreciated...Well, I'm off to bed with a bit of a heavy heart, but tomorrow is a new day...Goodnight all!!






Monday, October 19, 2009

The GAME of LOVE

Good evening! Hopefully yall missed me, but had wonderful days nonetheless. I had a very busy but blessed day. There are so many things I want to talk about. I guess we have nothing but time and cyber space so I'll take my time.

So the title of this blog is The GAME of LOVE because I am in love with the sitcom. For those of you who know what I'm talking about you may be in the same boat as me Lol...it is so GOOD!! It use to air on the CW network but was cancelled. I am pleased to announce that it has since been picked up by BET and I'm so glad they did!
 


The show is filled with relationship drama, family spats, betrayal, heartbreak, comedy, and some real-life scenarios...you know, all the qualities of an addictive show. And that's exactly what I am!!

Yesterday, I was catching up on some episodes that I missed from some of the seasons. It was the show where Melanie (Tia) finds out that Derwin (Pooch) did more than just kiss his friend Drew (a female...lol). Melanie over hears Dionne (Derwin's old PR person) confronting him about having sex with Drew. CRAZY RIGHT?! Yeah, so anyway...Melanie ends up slapping him and having a big argument in front of everyone.

Lots of stuff happens..(I'm not one to spoil shows if you ever want to watch LoL)...but long story short. Melanie and Derwin get into it and he violently begs her to stay. She declines...of course! LoL ...then the tear jerker scene that inspired this blog comes on. Derwin is devastated (as he should be) and falls asleep on the couch after Melanie leaves. The scene begins to play John Mayer's "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" BEAUTIFUL SONG!!! As the song plays, Derwin is dreaming of Melanie being there, only to awaken and find that he was only dreaming. He begins to cry...and SO DO I!! haha...

The song was PERFECT for this scene. I immediatey went and found the song because I fell in love with it. I found the lyrics as well and it really touched me. I have dreamed with a broken heart before and it truly is a painful thing...I'm what one could call, a "hopeless romantic." I want someone to fight for me (emotionally, the physical stuff is for kids). I want someone to love me with no holds barge, someone who isn't afraid to tell me how they're feeling about me and what they want.

I may be young but I know real love when it hits me, and it would be great to have someone love you with the same tenacity and zeal that you have for them. Being the only one in love can really take its toll on a person. I know first hand... all too well. Sometimes we want someone so bad to just be what we expect them to be; you know, the way we envision them in our heads? The perfect life you build in your brain with that special someone. But what happens when you're the only one with that vision? What happens when you have to face the reality that what you planned is ruined or out of reach? What happens when you are forced to let go of the one person you feel closest too and love so dearly?

How do you handle that? Is there a guide? Is time truly the healer of all heart/emotional wounds? And if so, how much time does one need to stop the broken hearted dreams? I like to think that we all want requited love, but the sad reality is: not everyone knows HOW to love. Love is a verb, meaning it requires ACTION. Without action, it's just an empty four letter word. I turned to the bible to help explain. 1Corinthians 13: 1-13:
1. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10. But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Enough said...If we all loved in this way life would be just a little bit easier, to say the least. I can't say that I am perfect with showing love but I have God as my example and He's the one I practice loving daily so when the time comes I'll know how to recognize true love and be able to love my husband correctly; ending all my broken hearted dreams.

If you love someone, don't be afraid to SHOW it. Don't wait till it's too late. Dare to love and be loved. I've posted the song so you all can hear it. It's simply beautiful. I hope I've inspired, encouraged, or gave someone something to think about today. Don't hesitate to follow my blog! I'd love to hear feedback from those of you who are reading...Enjoy the song and have a wonderful night all...I'm off to dream. Goodnight!!
 
 


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Sunday, October 18, 2009

Let the Church say AMEN!!

Goodmorning...(to who ever is reading) lol. It's one of the best days of the week: SUNDAY! if you've already been to church to get some of God's word in you that's great, if you haven't make sure you find yourself in God's house sometime today. We'd all be nothing without God so at least give him this day to worship, praise and thank him with like-believers.

While we're on the subject of church and God. I saw a video yesterday that had me literally Laughing Out Loud! I'll post it so you all can take a look at it. It's a video of a man named "Brother Franklin" who takes the scripture "God loves a cheerful giver" to a WHOLE new level!!

After I got over the initial shock and hilarity of the video, I started to view it in a different light. At what can seem like an attempt to promote/exploit a man in hopes for church publicity, I wondered what it would be like if all churches took this same approach to giving. Of course there'd need to be a cap on how much pelvis thrusting and booty shaking one should be able to do LoL...but in all seriousness, shouldn't giving to God be a time of celebration?

Especially in times like these where the economy is being choked to death by "fat-cats," offering time in churches should be more than just a "passing of the basket" or "walk around the church." If more churches took a small piece of "Brother Franklin's" enthusiasm, pastor's wouldn't feel the need to pump and prime us to give what belongs to God in the first place. 10% is ALL he asks. Some churches might benefit from adding a little excitement to a time that, traditionally, can become complacent or mundane.

I can't say that I'll have the opportunity to dance the way Brother Franklin does the next time I give my tithes and offering to God LoL...but if I could, I WOULD! Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting for churches to have a dance party in the middle of offering time, but it wouldn't hurt to make the time we thank and worship God with our giving a piquant event.

So with that being said, enjoy the video and THANK YOU Brother Franklin for inspiring me and helping me see that giving to God is a celebration that should truly be done with a Chearful Heart...Till next time. HAVE A BLESSED DAY!


The Cherry Blog

Ok...so this is it. My cherry popping blog entry. I plan on being real, open, and completely honest to you all. How I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, and what I'm going through; all in the hopes that I can help someone and in turn learn more about myself.

So, without further ado...lol. My name is Tiffanie AnnMarie Cross. I'm 22 years old, recent grad from the University of San Diego, stuck at my parents house in no-mans-land Temecula, CA. I'm a proud March baby =) the 20th to be exact! So for you zodiac followers out there I'm at the cut off date for the Pisces symbol (take it for what its worth)...

I LOOOOOVVVEEEE to sing. It's my passion, and makes my life worth living...(other than Jesus!) haha...but music is my therapy. If I could make money doing it that would be AWSOME!! LoL but uhhh yeah, for now I sing because it is one of the ways I can fully express some of my deepest fears, pains, happiness, love, insecurities, etc.

Speaking of love and insecurities...I'm in a relationship that is long distance. I'll get more into detail later on this subject in future blogs so stay posted because I've got a lot of questions, comments, and advice to offer on the subject; not to mention I could use some insight on the matter as well. LoL

I have one brother who is 19 going on 15...lol But all jokes aside. I love him to death. We may argue, fight, and get on one anothers nerves, but he's still my little brother and I'd do anything for him. My parents have been together for 25 years in October! I'm blessed to have a great example of how love is suppose to work and how its maintained. I pray God affords me the opportunity of finding love in that way...

I'm very excited about this blogging experience and hope to gain a few followers along the way. Stay tuned becuase my life is anything other than predictable and complacent. I'm on the journey to finding myself and the purpose God has for my life. So come along with me and take a look "Inside the mind of Ms_Cr0ss"...